Embrace Eternity
by Neutral Ground
Summary: Nicole Shepard has been to hell and back.  She beat Sovereign.  She beat the Collectors.  Now, she just needs to figure out how to keep her relationship alive.  femShep/Liara, lots of witty friendship with Garrus, and Garrus/Tali.
1. Chapter 1: Return

_**Embrace Eternity**_

_Chapter One: Return_

_Note: This is set post-Lair of the Shadow Broker, post-suicide mission, and will be filled to the brim with Liara/femShep hotness. I always felt it was really … discouraging, how Liara only says "Thanks for visiting, Shepard!" every time you come back after you have dinner on the Normandy. Especially if said dinner ended with Shepard grabbing Liara's ass._

_Also, I find the idea of GarrusxTali to be __**adorable**__, so that's implied here._

**xXx**

_Come back soon … Liara._

She hadn't come back, of course. Shepard had almost expected it, in that quiet part of her soul that knew those darkest truths one hid from themselves. It hurt, but if anything, Nicole Shepard could cope with pain. That was natural. Her life had been marked by it: the batarian slavers on Mindoir, the thresher maw attack on Akuze … the war against Saren, and then the Collectors. Nicole had very seldom been given the easy path in life. She was accustomed to pain.

What she was not accustomed to was failure.

She had tried everything—_everything_—to get her and Liara through this, done everything in her power to help Liara, to comfort her, to reassure her. But nothing worked. She could not break through the shadowy pall of grief that seemed to have clutched at Liara's heart, eating away at it, corrupting it, preventing it from touching anything else. Liara had turned her pain into a talent, made it into something she could use. Shepard recognized it, of course she did. She'd made a career out of doing the same thing.

She missed Liara. She didn't miss the way Liara had been. She missed the way _they_ had been.

_« __Approaching Hagalaz, commander.__»_

Nicole looked up from the console in her quarters, as though she expected to see Joker standing next to her. He was using the comm, of course. She opened up a line on her terminal and replied, "Thanks for the update, Joker." That done, she returned to her prior position, slouched in her chair, brooding over the picture of Liara that was propped up on her desk. Smiling.

When was the last time she'd seen the asari smile?

Another voice came onto the comm, but this one was coming from the localized one at her door.

"Commander, can I come in?" It was Garrus' voice, of course. The turian had effectively replaced Miranda as her second-in-command in all but name. Miranda never would've allowed such a direct affront without some sort of uproar, and Garrus wouldn't have been comfortable with the official title, anyway. But everyone on the _Normandy_ knew who was _really_ in command when Shepard wasn't on deck. The final blow had been when Shepard had given Garrus command over both fire teams back on the Collector base. She'd needed to pick someone to trust, and she'd picked the turian. Twice.

She didn't think Miranda had ever really forgiven her. The thought made her smile, and think of happy places.

"The door's open, Garrus," She called over one shoulder, swiftly getting to her feet and smoothing the shirt of her plainclothes soldier's uniform. There was a swishing sound as the door slid open, and she heard the surprisingly soft footfalls of the turian renegade walking into her quarters. He didn't speak for a while, just leaned against a wall, looking at her with utter innocence. Shepard rolled her eyes. "You wanted to see me, I gathered?"

"Thought I'd admire your model ship collection," Garrus replied, his mandibles twitching into a bizarre turian smile. "Bad joke, huh? Good thing I didn't try stand-up, I guess. Though I always did think that joke about heat-sinks _was_ pretty good." Despite herself, Shepard laughed. "How're you holding up, Shepard?"

"Fine, Vakarian, thanks for asking," Shepard said, leaning back against her desk in what passed for a casual stance.

"Since when am I 'Vakarian'? Have I pissed you off or something? I swear to god, I had nothing to do with that crap in the mess. Dextro-amino, remember, I make my own food," Garrus joked, glibly investigating the back of his talons. Shepard sighed. She had to admit, he was getting good at this. Garrus would make a damn fine commander, one day … perhaps one day soon.

"How did you know it was crap?" Nicole asked, grinning entirely against her will. Damn space lizard.

"It _looked_ like crap. _Food_ is not grey and pasty, _waste matter_ is grey and pasty. In fact, have you ever actually _seen_ Varren dung, because by the Spirits—"

"All right, Garrus, I get it," Shepard replied, getting off of her desk and walking down into the "common" area of her quarters, leaning on the sofa. Garrus followed silently, taking a position in a chair, looking at her with unmasked concern.

"You are not okay, Shepard. I know you."

"You do, I'll give you that," Nicole admitted grudgingly, crossing her arms and pressing her fingers to her forehead. It ached every now and again, ever since the Collector Base. Chakwas said that it was the result of "negative thinking" on her implants. If she wasn't careful, she might wind up with a facefull of scars again.

"It has also not escaped my notice that Hagalaz _happens_ to be the dwelling place of a certain asari information broker."

"You are uniquely astute."

"Please, your flattery is wasted," Garrus said, raising a hand. "I'm well aware of my Holmesian intellect." Shepard looked up in genuine surprise and stared at the turian.

"You've read _Sherlock Holmes_?" She asked incredulously. Garrus chuckled and said,

"You should really see the look on your face, Nicole. Yeah, I've read Holmes. A lot of turians have, actually, it's a popular book on Palaven. A ton of Doyle's stuff made its way into the education system, under alien literature. Compared to the salarian junk we have to slog through, the adventures of a brilliant detective are like a drink of water in a vast desert. A desert _filled_ with salarian mating contracts." Garrus made a face. "Salarian literature. Never again."

"I wonder," Shepard said, sounding genuinely lost in deep, ponderous thought. "If salarians have mating contracts, do they have mating _lawyers_?"

Garrus burst out laughing and reclined on the chair, gesturing with a hand philosophically,

"Well, you humans have sex advice columnists, don't you?"

Again, Shepard stared.

"I really have no excuse for that one," Garrus said, grinning mischievously. Of course, "mischievous" turian grins looked _bloody terrifying_, but you got used to it. Shepard smiled herself, looking idly at a strange, anomalous Prothean relic that resembled a liquid metal sphere. Garrus followed her eyes to it, and said for the thousandth time,

"I will never understand your willingness to touch strange, ancient Prothean things that _glow_." Shepard grinned, and Garrus added, "Though then again, maybe that's what attracted T'soni to you in the first place. Your daring."

"That, or the fact that the things I touched so happened to be Prothean," Shepard muttered bitterly. Garrus' eyes narrowed and he said,

"Don't give me that crap, Nicole. I deserve better, and Liara damn well does."

Shepard looked up at Garrus, anger on her face, but Garrus only responded with cool, calm indifference.

"You're right, Garrus. I guess I just … well, things have been rough. Since the Collector Base, since she took over as the Broker … I guess I hoped that'd help fix things. That we'd be able to talk more."

"And instead…." Garrus said, letting her continue.

"We haven't," Shepard finished bluntly, crossing her arms and staring determinedly at her ceiling. The Prothean artefact seemed like an intruder, now. She couldn't help but remember how fascinated by it Liara had been. "I shouldn't be talking about this."

"Yes, you should. Unless you want to discuss it over dinner with Ms. Chambers, though I can't guarantee she won't try and worm her way into your pants."

"You're a member of my crew."

"And I'm your friend."

Shepard sighed and folded her fingers together, resting her chin on them.

"When did you get so bloody good at this, Garrus?" She asked, half-irritated, half-impressed. Garrus grinned.

"I learned from the best, Shepard."

"Well, you know how things are. What should I do? I've never been good at this sort of thing. I'm better at shooting people," Shepard reflected, before she snorted. "Wow, that is a _sad_ statement, when you think about it."

"It's not like I'm an expert either." Garrus shrugged. "Discounting 'reach-and-flexibility' girl, but that was really more for fun. I think we're both fighters before lovers, Shepard."

There was a very long silence.

"Damn, that _does_ sound sad," Garrus reflected, though he sounded amused.

"Oh, I don't know. I've seen the way you and Tali look at each other," Shepard said quietly, grinning widely. It felt good to be on the _other_ end of the teasing, for once. She thought she'd never hear the end of the asari-fetish jokes. Garrus, finally, looked surprised and said,

"What'd'you mean, Shepard? We don't _look_ at each other a certain way, I mean, she's got a mask and—"

"There's no point denying it, Garrus. Hell, you come back from the pit of hell, a renegade crimefighter under an assumed alias, kicking half the merc ass of Omega, sporting a badass scar and a frankly ludicrously cool-looking set of blasted armour, and our young, impressionable Tali _isn't_ interested? Fat chance, bud. Hell, if I was her _I_ would've been attracted. If, y'know. I was into turians." Shepard's grin was now sadistically wide. It was a bit of a struggle to keep from laughing.

Garrus sighed and hung his head.

"That obvious, huh?"

"It was bound to happen, after all those dinners you guys shared."

"Hey, that was only because we're both dextro, and I'm actually a pretty decent cook. At first, anyway," Garrus said, with the distinct air of a man fighting a losing battle. "Besides. We're talking about you, here. You spent all that time helping each individual member of this crew work out their own personal neuroses. I think it's high time someone returned the favour. And I don't expect Miranda's about to volunteer."

Shepard grinned,

"Really? I thought we had a real connection after she disobeyed orders, what … are we up to twelve times, now?"

"Thirteen, if you count the time back on the Collector Base."

"Yeah, but she was disobeying _you_, that time."

"Disobeying _me_, yeah, but _you_ had ordered her to obey me. So really, she was disobeying both of us. Fourteen." Garrus grinned, then got off of his seat and sat next to Shepard on the sofa. She was surprised, but didn't say anything. "Look, Nicole … what you've been through, I don't think anyone would be able to say they've suffered worse. But you're a fighter. A survivor. I don't know anyone tougher, and I know Wrex."

"Thanks, Garrus, but what's your point?"

Garrus leaned forward, and rested his arms on his knees. He stared at her for a long moment, then said,

"Liara's not you, Nicole. That's not a bad thing. I mean, hell, I'm not saying Liara's weak, either … the girl's been through hell and back. What she did for you … I don't know, it was incredible. I mean, it's got to be hard to appreciate, but you were _gone_ for two years, Shepard. You were … _dead_. And Liara was the only one willing to believe you could come back, willing to sacrifice everything for you. And then … one day you just showed up. She loves you, Shepard. I believe that, and anyone who sees the way she looks at you knows it. Her life's just … more complicated, now. She's not the blushing scientist you wooed on the _Normandy_, anymore."

Shepard was silent for a very long time.

"I know you've thought about it yourself. But … it's something you really need to come to terms with. You never really had a chance until now, when it was all life-or-death on the Omega-4 Relay. We don't know when the big fight against the Reapers will come. But I think you'd want to have everything sorted out when it does." There was another pause, and Garrus rubbed at the back of his head awkwardly. Shepard was staring through her tented fingers at a specific, arbitrary spot on her wall with intensity that suggested she wished to glare a hole clear in the side of the _Normandy's_ hull.

"It was two years, Garrus … but it was just a moment, for me. A breath of air. I fell asleep, woke up, and the world changed." Nicole fell back onto the sofa, letting a huge breath of air out. She hadn't realized she'd been holding it in.

"That had to be tough."

"It was."

"Imagine if Liara had died, saving you. Imagine if she'd brought you back, only to die in the process." Shepard looked at Garrus incredulously, half-angry, but then she felt the impact of his words in her chest. Liara … _dead_. She remembered being _glad_ that Liara hadn't been able to come with them to the Omega-4 Relay. The thought of her dying was even worse than losing her whole crew.

"Now imagine living with that for two years … and then all of a sudden she's back."

"Yeah, Garrus. I know. But … thanks."

"Just thought I'd stop by, Shepard. You two deserve a little happiness, between you." Nicole looked at Garrus and grinned, before she punched the turian on the shoulder and laughed. It had been terrible, seeing how tortured Garrus had been, over the loss of his squad, over all the tragedies he blamed on himself. Now … now Garrus was fulfilling his potential, Shepard believed. He could be a leader of men. He could help people, make them stronger. He'd had to come through the fire to do it, but then, so had Shepard. "That's what I get for trying to help?" Garrus asked, feigning real pain. Shepard made to respond, but Joker's voice rang out on the comm again.

_« __We're docked with the Broker's tub, commander.__»_

"Time to go," Shepard muttered, exhaling and getting to her feet. Garrus rose with her and patted her on the back. He knew it was a human thing to do: what he didn't know was that those talons of his hurt like hell, though Shepard didn't let it show. She laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Thanks, Garrus. It's good to have a friend like you."

"Yeah, well, once you've got enough pull to suggest someone for Spectre candidacy, toss my name up, would you?" Garrus asked wryly.

"You're still hanging onto that?"

"Yeah. But I think I might actually be ready. Once the war with the Reapers is done with, anyway."

"I think so too, Garrus," Shepard said, before the turian suddenly shoved her towards her door.

"Go on, commander! Get yourself some hot asari ass. Film it and give Joker a thrill, would you?"

"Shut up!" Shepard yelled after him, making sure to beat him to the elevator. She could almost hear his groan even from the other side of the door. The thing took _forever_.

_I'm coming, Liara,_ she thought to herself, remembering Garrus' words, and trying to keep her mood elevated. For Liara's sake, and for her own.


	2. Chapter 2: Tomorrow Never Dies

_**Embrace Eternity**_

_Chapter Two: Tomorrow Never Dies_

_Note: And here I've said I don't often do notes … anyway, thanks to everyone for reviewing! It really helps, and keeps a guy goin'. Also, to everyone who either favourited or set the story to Story Alert, thanks as well! It's nice to know people are reading._

_I'll admit that originally this was supposed to focus exclusively on Liara and Shepard … but honestly, writing Garrus is entirely too much fun. Expect more of that in the future, with Tali. Who, again, is adorable. Also, this thing __**might**__ wind up teetering into M-rated territory in a bit, just to warn anyone reading. Nothing so severe quite yet, though._

_Oh, yeah. Yes, the chapter title is a Bond reference. No, I am not ashamed about it._

**xXx**

Nicole stood in the airlock of the Normandy, rolling her shoulders, trying to calm herself. She kept thinking that she should've worn that dress that Kasumi had acquired for her, back on Bekenstein. Then she reminded herself how stupid she would've looked. Then she reminded herself that she might've actually looked _good_, for a change. Around that time, she'd earned a pretty nasty headache. She took in a deep breath, and opened the hatch that let her onto the Shadow Broker's ship. She hadn't carried a weapon with her—Liara had a fully stocked weapons locker onboard—but she did feel oddly naked without one, walking onto the Broker's ship.

_Liara is the Broker, now. This is her ship_, Nicole told herself, though she wasn't sure she believed it. She felt strange, walking down the dark halls. The base was not a ship built for comfort, or kindness: the architecture was angular and cruel, lacking any of the artistry of turian, human, or asari design. Shepard had been in uglier ships—hell, she'd been in a _Reaper_—but this one felt particularly alien, maybe because Liara had now made it her home.

There was a faint humming sound, and suddenly the Info Drone, a white orb of persistently annoying hologram, appeared at Shepard's side.

"_It is a pleasure to see you again, Shadow Broker."_

_I am going to shoot that thing,_ Shepard thought ruefully, before she remembered she didn't have a gun.

"_Message from the Shadow Broker, Shadow Broker."_

"Okay, _how_ can the Broker be talking to _himself_?" Nicole asked, to no one in particular. The Info Drone's ergonomic interface was sorely lacking, since nearly all of its processing power was devoted to the specific needs of the galaxy's most notorious information dealer. The Drone flickered, and Liara's voice came out of it.

"_Shepard? I got your message, but why are you here?"_

"I'll talk to you when I can see you," Nicole replied tersely. She wished she knew how to shut the damn Drone off.

"_Is something wrong?"_

_You could say that._ "No."

"_All right. Come on in, Shepard."_

The Info Drone zoomed off to another part of the ship, likely to go bother Feron. Shepard tried not to feel jealous whenever she thought of the drell—Liara had plainly explained that she had not, despite temptation, been unfaithful to her dead lover—but damn if it wasn't difficult. It didn't help that he was fairly good-looking, too, once you got past the bruises.

She quickly came out into the huge, open room where the Shadow Broker—where Liara—conducted her business. It was a mass of blinking terminals and lights, all conveying some bit of information or another. Liara was absorbed in a series of documents on the main array of screens, filing them away, moving them around. She had, at least, installed a comfortable chair from which to do it, at Shepard's insistence.

"Hey, Liara," Nicole called out, walking up towards the newest Shadow Broker, her feet moving briskly. Despite everything, she was still eager to see the asari again. The asari that she loved. She had to wait, though. She got as far as the main terminal, where Liara continued to switch documents around for a good three or four minutes before she finally turned around, swivelling her chair to look at Shepard.

"Hello, Nicole," Liara said; her voice barely rose above a whisper. Nicole realized her fists were clenched out of nervousness, and hurriedly undid them, crossing them behind her back. She mentally cursed herself for acting like she was at a military tribunal or something, and quickly walked forward, leaning down on Liara's chair. Liara's face, which had been so open once, was now a carefully guarded mask: it barely betrayed her surprise, but she _was_ surprised. Nicole didn't know which was more disappointing.

"Mind moving over a bit?" Nicole asked, discovering with a jolt of surprise that she _was_ nervous. Nervous that Liara would say no. Liara only smiled, though, and moved to one side in the wide, comfortable chair. The armrests were wide and bulky, and unlike the rest of the chair, were not cushioned: they were instead covered with terminal controls.

"It is … good to see you again, Nickie," Liara said, her voice still soft as Shepard slid down to the right of her lover, their hips and shoulders rubbing up against one another's. Nicole smiled, and slipped an arm behind Liara's back, resting it on her thigh on the opposite side.

"It is," Nicole agreed, leaning into Liara, as the asari leaned into her. They'd always been like that. They would lean on one another, but support each other, as well. For a brief moment, everything was perfect. A smile worked its way onto Nicole's face, and it didn't leave.

"Is there any particular reason you came?" Liara asked, looking into Shepard's vibrant green eyes with curiosity.

"Do I need a reason?" Nicole asked, trying her damnedest to make the question sound innocent.

"No, it is just that … Hagalaz is very out-of-the-way, Nicole. I did not expect…."

"You didn't expect what?"

"That you would want to visit again so soon," Liara finished, her voice plain, matter-of-fact. She really was quite good at hiding what she felt. But not from Nicole, not from someone who had been inside the young asari's mind so many times that she almost _felt_ her there, sometimes. Nicole frowned, and squeezed Liara's thigh, pulling her closer. With her other hand, she reached over to Liara's shoulder, pulling her close.

"How could you think that?" Liara looked at her in surprise, and shrugged. Or at least approximated a shrug as best a person could while they were entangled with a synthetically-modified human who had a grip like a vice.

"You are very busy, Shepard."

"Not anymore, dammit. Not with the Collectors gone. And don't call me Shepard, it's bad enough that half my friends do it," Nicole grumbled, her brows tightening as they came together.

"I am sorry, Nickie," Liara whispered. Nicole looked at her and saw that tears were forming in her big, blue eyes. She immediately felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach, and all the anger had poured out of her. She moved her hand from Liara's shoulder and touched a finger to the asari's beautiful, round cheek, wiping away the tears as softly as she could.

"Don't be sorry, you don't have to be," Nicole muttered, hating herself for sounding so inconsistent. How could she be the same woman who had given at least a half-dozen inspiring speeches to a full crew of men and women facing down death? Her tongue felt like lead in her mouth. "The moment we left Hagalaz … the moment we hit the Relay to go take care of that Cerberus VI, I missed you. I wanted to come back."

"I know, Nickie. I know," Liara whispered, raising a hand to wipe what remained of the tears from her eyes. She seemed frustrated with herself. "But the problem with Project Overlord needed to be dealt with. And I need to monitor the information traffic. We cannot always be together."

"Overlord's dealt with," Nicole said bluntly. "Now I want to be with you, as long as I can." Nicole cupped Liara's cheek in her hand, smiling as she drank in the asari's features. They always looked young to her, and then she had to remind herself that for an asari, 108 _was_ young.

"Before you go off fighting Reapers?" Liara asked.

"Yes, that," Nicole muttered, pressing her mouth against Liara's, feeling her moist lips against her own. She turned the asari towards her and pulled her body close to hers, as close as physiology would permit. She wanted to forget the damn Reapers, forget Harbinger, forget everything but what she wanted. Just once, would that be so much to ask? To do something for _her_, and for her alone? Suddenly, Liara pulled away. Not far, but just enough so that she could speak. Nicole opened her eyes, and looked at her lover.

"What will happen if I lose you again, Nickie?" Liara asked, driving a cold knife into Nicole's stomach. "Look what happened when I lost you the first time. Look what I became just so I could embrace delusion and get you back. We both know it was more likely that Cerberus _wouldn't_ have been able to bring you back."

"Embrace eternity," Nicole suggested. Liara blinked.

"Nicole, I do not think right now is—"

"I don't want to bond with you, Liara—not _right_ now, anyway—I mean it. Embrace _eternity_. Y'know, the actual meaning behind those words you asari are so fond of?" Nicole said wryly. She grinned, and Liara looked at her strangely.

"What do you—?"

"Even after I beat the Reapers, even after all the big bad threats are gone, I'm not going to be around forever, Liara. Even with all my implants and upgrades, I'll still be lucky to see any older than two-fifty," Shepard said blithely, rubbing a hand along Liara's neck. Liara looked sullen, but Nicole pressed onward, anyway. "I was never going to be around for all of your life. You'll live far longer than I will. You'll do incredible things. And our children—we _are_ having children—will do incredible things, too." Liara laughed, and laid her head on Shepard's chest.

"I thought you were joking about the little blue children."

"Never," Shepard quipped happily, stroking the back of Liara's head, where a series of shorter tentacle-like … things came together. She'd long ago gotten used to them, even found them cute, now. They moved in and out whenever Liara spoke, and were _very_ sensitive. "I always did want to be a mom."

"Dad, you mean."

"Parent. Whatever," Shepard said with a laugh, resting her neck on top of Liara's head. She wanted to hold the asari close like this, forever. Not to protect her—Liara had never needed protection—but just to be with her. "Actually, can you even—"

"Yes," Liara said quickly, sounding thoroughly embarrassed about it. Nicole laughed and looked Liara in the face, watching the asari blush. It was lovely. "I, um … I seem to be entering the matron stage rather early, because of all of our…."

"Sex?" Shepard supplied wryly, grinning ear-to-ear.

"Yes."

"I could've _sworn_ your breasts got bigge—"

"Nickie!" Liara said, nearly shoving Nicole out of the chair, while the infiltrator only laughed, and laughed. "Do not—that is not something that—"

"I'm not joking! Ever since—"

"Yes, yes, I get it," Liara muttered, playfully pounding on Shepard's chest.

"_Ow._ You're not the only one with boobs, Liara."

"You deserve it." Liara sounded so self-righteous and dignified that Nicole _had_ to laugh.

"I love you."

"I know."

"You've been watching _Star Wars _again." Shepard didn't think she'd ever forgive Joker for screening that movie, back on the first _Normandy_. Liara laughed and pressed herself against Shepard, their bodies separated only by their clothes.

"I have. I love you, too, Nickie." Liara paused. "I am just afraid I love you too much."

"You'll always have your memories of me, Liara. I'll always be with you, in whatever way I can. Hell, if we keep bonding so much, at this rate you'll have a running copy of me stored away in the back of your skull—"

"That is not funny," Liara said, actually _pouting_. Nicole kissed her again, quickly, before she said,

"Maybe, but it _is_ accurate."

_Progress, _Shepard thought happily. _This is definitely progress._

**xXx**

This late in the day—or at least what equated to a rough daily cycle on a starship—there was almost no one left in the mess hall. It was a perfect for Garrus and Tali to eat, particularly since it gave Garrus more or less free reign over the cooking supplies. At first, it had just been precautionary: the risk of mixing dextro-amino food particles with levo-amino was too great for them to eat at the same time as the rest of the crew. Now, well, he had to admit that he didn't regret the arrangement.

"I still can't believe you're such a good cook," Tali commented idly, ingesting her food via a straw-like apparatus that keyed in to her suit. Garrus chuckled, watching her eat from across the plain, metal table.

"You haven't even _had_ my best cooking." He tapped his plate pointedly, gesturing to the slab of charred meat that was on it, specially brought in from Palaven. Tali laughed, and shook her head,

"Really, you have no idea. On the Flotilla, everyone gets neatly regulated nutrient packets. That's all I ever knew how to prepare—all I had for years! Compared to that, this is delicious! It's so vibrant, it's so—"

"How many times have we had this conversation before, Tali?" Garrus asked wryly, slicing off a bit of meat and putting it in his mouth as delicately as he could. Turians tended to … slaughter their food. He considered himself a very polite eater, but he suspected turian table manners might shock the quarian into an allergic panic attack.

"Several, but it doesn't get old," Tali replied cheerfully, in a tone normally reserved for particularly successful diagnostic runs. It was hard to tell what she was thinking behind that mask—especially since turian facial expressions were so clear, thanks to their mandibles—but Tali made up for it by way of general exuberance. "I wonder how Commander Shepard and Liara are doing."

"They'll be fine. They just needed a chance to talk." Garrus shrugged, and Tali giggled.

"It _was_ funny watching Shepard coming up with an excuse for us to come back to Hagalaz."

"Funny? I helped her _make_ that excuse."

"No wonder it was funny. Your sense of humour is _awful_, Garrus."

"If my sense of humour was so awful it wouldn't have been funny, would it?" Garrus pointed out, gesturing wildly with a bit of speared meat. He grimaced and popped the thing in his mouth, ripping it to shreds with his fangs.

"Your sense of humour is only awful when you're _trying_ to be funny."

"What, you didn't like my elevator jokes?"

"They were horrible."

"You don't miss—"

"I swear, Garrus, I will set Chiktikka on you."

"I could overload her."

"You wouldn't." All at once, there was a real, tangible threat in Tali's voice. Absurdly, she sounded _hurt_. Garrus raised his hands and hurriedly said,

"I was only joking. Honest."

"You better have been…."

"Would I joke about something like that?" Tali stared at him. "Oh, come on, don't look at me like that."

"You can't see my face, Garrus."

"And yet I feel as though I'm in that gunship's sights, again," the turian replied grimly, though he instantly regretted it. He couldn't see Tali's face, but her posture had slipped a bit, the way it did whenever her mood was troubled. "Uh, sorry. That sounded funnier in my head."

"Bosh'tet."

"Tali, are you upset?" Garrus asked, alarmed at the choked emotion in her voice. He'd just been trying to be flippant.

_Wonderful, Vakarian. Very smooth._

"No, I'm not," Tali said firmly. She leaned across the table, and raised a hand to the scarred half of his face. He couldn't help but flinch: the skin wasn't _tender_, exactly, but it wasn't comfortable to be touched there. "When Shepard told me what happened, I didn't believe it. You always seemed like you knew what you were doing, just like she did."

"I'm good at putting up a show of it. But I'm not like Shepard," Garrus admitted, looking off to one side, moving his scarred face away from Tali's hand.

"No, I guess you're not," Tali said, pulling her hand back and settling it awkwardly at her side. "That's not a bad thing, though." In spite of himself, Garrus grinned.

"Never figured you had a weakness for a guy with scars."

"I didn't say anything about that."

"Didn't have to, Tali."

"Stop smiling like that!"

"Why, d'you—"

_« __Got a situation, Garrus. Figured you were the man—turian, whatever—for the job.__» _It was Joker. Garrus felt a very real desire to cause him a great deal of bodily harm.

"Where?" Garrus demanded, his voice clipped with agitation.

_« __CIC. Would you hurry up, I'm getting nervous here. Jack and Miranda are playing "Let's redecorate the comm room."__»_

"Great," Garrus muttered, rising from the table to walk towards the elevator. Shepard just had to pick the day that Miranda and Jack revived their old quarrel to spend on the Broker's base. It suddenly occurred to him that Miranda and Jack might've decided to have their little spat specifically _because_ Shepard was off the ship.

_She won't like that._

"Don't piss them off, Garrus," Tali called out after him. He chuckled.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tali."


	3. Chapter 3: Portents and Shadows

_**Embrace Eternity**_

_Chapter Three: Portents and Shadows_

_Note: I might as well change the "note" tag to "regularly scheduled forward". Anyway…._

_Thanks again to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, story alerted, et cetera. Again, it's vastly encouraging! And as for the "asari matron" thing…._

_**WARNING**__: What follows is lorebabble and is honestly fairly pointless. Ignore it unless you're really up in arms over the idea of Liara going Matron early._

_Honestly, it was no more than a passing line that was meant to be funny. To offer some clarification on my thought-process regarding the matter: asari physiology and development is supposed to be highly attuned to their nervous systems, which are directly connected to a partner's when they meld. I would theorize that it is not any set "number" of mating instances or number of years that precisely tips off asari development, but rather that the current numbers (350 for Matron, 700 for Matriarch) are more guidelines rather than strict rules: asari development would not necessarily follow human development ideas (which roughly correspond certain physiological changes to a certain span of years). I would wager that the intensity of a melding would affect the intensity of the neurological overhaul, as it were: and melding with an extraordinary individual like Shepard (whose mind has been noted as being unnaturally strong, and still has Prothean databits bouncing around inside) would probably speed up that process._

_Finally, it's said on the ME wiki that asari can more or less "choose" to enter the stages early: once again referencing how their nervous systems are attuned to their physiology, I'd guess that such a choice would result in some bodily changes. Of course, it's all up to individual interpretation, and once more, the line wasn't really written in terrible seriousness._

_**Lorebabble ends here**_

_And now, on with the show._

**xXx**

When Garrus heard all the yelling, shouting, and biotic discharge, he figured he'd better hurry up and get his way to the CIC.

_Why couldn't they just have fought while I was pretending to calibrate something? _Garrus thought impatiently, though he knew that this was probably pretty serious. Jack was a grade-A criminal psychopath and Miranda was … Miranda. The second the elevator doors slid open, however, he was greeted by an aged salarian face.

_Wonderful_.

"Recommend expedience. Situation critical—"

"I'd gathered, Mordin," Garrus said, pushing past the salarian to make his way to the galaxy map. He knew that was where they were, because there was lots of shouting and banging noises. The turian briskly made his way into the general CIC area to find it was almost entirely deserted, save for a pair of raging human biotics, each humming with a vibrant blue biotic field, while a very frightened Kelly Chambers was trying to huddle away in a corner.

"Miranda, Jack, stand down!" Garrus ordered, feeling distinctly as though he was putting himself in between a pair of feasting varren.

"Screw you, turian!" Jack screamed, tossing a large, metal crate his way with a blue biotic field. Garrus rolled his eyes and ducked out of the way. He'd seen plenty of biotics before, and Jack was just a more powerful version of the same sad story he'd seen dozens of times. Usually, from the other end of a sniper scope.

"I'm only defending myself, Vakarian," Miranda said calmly, despite the fact that her biotic field was every bit as fierce as Jack's.

"Whatever you call this, it can wait until Shepard's back on the ship," Garrus said firmly, wishing he'd brought his sniper rifle. Though that probably would've just made things worse, even if it _would_ have shut them up quicker.

"I told Shepard I'd leave this 'till the shit with the Collectors was done, and it's been done for months!" Jack growled, curling her hands into fists. Not for the first time Garrus wondered what would've happened if they'd met _before_ the _Normandy_.

"Jack, Cerberus is scum, we both agree there. But Cerberus let us beat the Collectors. I don't agree with them, but—"

"Shut up, varren-shit!"

_Eloquent._ Miranda, for her part, had calmed down, and was busy grinning smugly while she crossed her arms and assumed her very best "holier-than-thou" stance. Garrus looked towards her irritably and demanded,

"Couldn't you just tell her Cerberus was wrong and save us all the trouble?"

"I will _not_—"

"Yeah, yeah, we could never besmirch the good name of our crazy-eyed boss," Garrus muttered, wishing that Shepard had brought Liara on board. She could've just popped the both of them in stasis and had done with it. So help him, he missed the asari: or at least he missed that hilarious dopey-eyed look Shepard got when the asari was around. He nearly laughed, before he remembered that _might_ have inflamed the current situation.

It was obvious, though, that he wasn't getting anywhere, and like as not the shock of another body entering the room had prevented them from hurling debris at one another rather than anything else. He had to think of _something_….

"Look," he said, talking without thinking, "You've got your issues, but this isn't the time for it. Shepard's on that ship taking care of … business. She's done more for the two of you than anyone else has. She's done more for _all_ of us than anyone else has. Do you really want her to come back to a wrecked ship because you couldn't wait for her to have a little time to herself?"

"What, we've all got to wait around for her to plow the asari?" Jack was getting that "murdery" tone of voice again.

"Well, not unless you choose to, I guess. Remind me what happened to the last guy who pissed Shepard off?" Garrus asked wryly. She'd let some poor drug-smuggling bastard try out her Widow rifle, and watched him break his arm off in the process.

The statement had a profound effect on the human women in front of him. He grinned, and decided to press his advantage.

"I can just imagine it now … Shepard comes back after a long day of … 'rigour'—" he added air-quotes for emphasis, "—aboard the Shadow Broker's ship, expecting to casually take the Normandy back to the Citadel to officially debrief the Council on Project Overlord … and she finds her CIC in disarray, half her crew scared-shitless, and that you two disobeyed a direct order from her XO."

"_I_ am the XO," Miranda said haughtily—she was probably the only person he'd ever applied the term "haughtily" to in his life—before Garrus smirked and jerked a thumb at EDI's nearest console.

"Check the registry, Miranda, Shepard switched it just before she left the ship. Always said she had an eerie sense of foresight."

"The Illusive Man will _not_ approve of this, Garrus."

"The Illusive Man knows better than to tell Shepard what to do on her own ship," Garrus pointed out, while Jack started cackling.

"What's wrong, cheerleader? Panties in a bunch 'cause you lost your job?"

"Look. The two of you just head to your quarters and cool off," Garrus said calmly, reviving the tones he'd used back when he'd been leading his squad on Omega. "You worked things out with Shepard once. She can handle it when she's good and ready."

"And why can't you handle it?" Jack muttered, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms, setting her chin in a defiant jut that made her look like a child.

"Because I'm not about to go over Shepard's head," Garrus said evenly, though he knew the real reason: this was Shepard's crew, and they would only listen to her. He'd wasted enough of the past two years pretending to be Shepard. "Whether I can handle it or not, unless you want to get your ass handed to you by a woman who can go invisible at will, I'd suggest you clean this mess up."

Without another word, Garrus Vakarian turned around and entered the elevator, feeling very pleased with himself.

**xXx**

Liara had fallen asleep, entangled in Nicole's lap. She didn't dare move from their spot in the huge, comfortable chair; Liara was an incredibly light sleeper. One of Nicole's hands was still resting on the base of Liara's neck, feeling the warmth of her skin, the small droplets of sweat that were forming as she slept in the overheated main chamber. She wondered idly how many times Liara had fallen asleep here, as she watched the asari's chest gently rising and falling. She wanted to reach out with her other hand and stroke Liara's shoulder, or pull her closer, but she still didn't dare wake her up. She was such a light sleeper.

_Then again, so am I,_ Nicole reflected. She'd never exactly been a heavy sleeper, but after Mindoir … after those slavers had come and burned everything she'd ever known and killed everyone she'd ever loved, the nightmares had never left her. Then, the Thresher Maw attack on Akuze, the debacle on Eden Prime, and all the horrors she'd seen since … yes, Nicole Shepard had many nightmares that came to her in the night. Sometimes, before she slept, she would wonder which of them would come.

_I could turn it into a gambling game, _she thought grimly, _50 credits to whoever guesses right. Will it be the Prothean warning tonight, or the Human-Reaper? Taking all bets…._

She was getting frustrated with herself. Here she was, lying with Liara—albeit accidentally—feeling the asari's breath on her skin, letting the warmth of the other body keep her comfortable … and all she could think about were the damned Reapers. It wasn't fair. Not to her, not to Liara. But every time she closed her eyes, she just saw the huge, grotesque, squid-like warship that had been Sovereign, or the perverse imitation of humanity they'd seen aboard the Collector ship, or the glowing, cracked skin of a Harbinger-possessed drone. If the Illusive Man were here—and he wasn't, thank God—he'd probably have been pleased that his investment had turned out so effectively.

_Is that really all I've become? A weapon to be pointed at the Reapers?_

And yet, in that moment, when the Collectors had destroyed the _Normandy SR1_, when she'd been hurtling through space and realized, in a panic, that her suit was leaking oxygen … in that moment, it had not been with thoughts of Reapers that she had died. Her last moments had been of regret, terrible regret, that all the years she and Liara could've had were going to vanish like so much smoke. And then….

_Then I came back. But everything was changed,_ she thought, daring to stroke the back of Liara's neck while she slept. She stirred, but didn't wake, and Shepard smiled. Liara had become tougher on the exterior, perhaps, had learned to make the tough calls, but she was still her same Li, deep down inside, where it mattered. She'd known it when they'd melded, when Liara had come aboard the _Normandy_ after they'd supplanted the old Broker. When they melded, they were _literally_ one: she had felt Liara's every feeling, been in her deepest senses, and known her deepest thoughts. She couldn't _remember_ it all, of course, and she'd been fairly distracted by pure sensual pleasure, but when they'd been together, she'd known that Liara was still Liara, and that was more than enough for her.

"Mmm…."

_Crap._ Liara was stirring, which meant that in a few seconds….

"Goddess, did I fall asleep?" The tone of genuine, groggy panic in Liara's voice was priceless. Shepard smiled.

"Only a little."

"I can't believe I couldn't even make it to the _bed_," Liara sighed, laying her head down on Shepard's chest. Shepard's hand was still on the back of her neck, gently caressing it.

"I didn't want to wake you."

"You should have," Liara protested, trying to untangle one of her legs from Nicole's. Nicole grinned and trapped one of the asari's legs between her own.

_Synthetic strength has some definite advantages_.

"I was just admiring you while you slept," Nicole said quietly, tracing a finger along the side of Liara's face. The asari smiled grudgingly and settled back against her lover's chest.

"Is that not a little creepy, Shepard?"

"Look who's talking, Ms. 'I-was-just-looking-into-your-personal-history'."

"That was different."

"How?"

"Shut up, Nickie."

Nicole grinned, and planted a kiss on Liara's cheek, pulling her close. The asari laughed and tried to push back, but only one of them had artificially boosted strength, after all.

"Nickie, come on—_come on_—we should at least go to bed. It will be more comfortable," Liara said, with a firmness that brooked little argument. Nicole sighed, and released her vice grip, pulling the both of them to their feet. When they got up, she wrapped an arm around Liara's waist, again keeping the asari close to her, their bodies sliding against one another. Liara smiled, but said, "You do not need to do that, you know." Shepard blinked.

"Do what?"

"You do not need to always be pulling me so close, I mean. I am not going to run away on you."

"Oh. Sorry."

There was an awkward pause, and Shepard let her hand slide away from the asari's waist.

_Here I am, scourge of the great Reaper threat, and I can't handle an asari telling me to back off a little_, Shepard thought wryly, before Liara caught her hand and laid it back on her hip.

"However, you do not have to stop. I just want you to know you do not _need_ to," Liara said, looking into Nicole's eyes with a sudden, fierce determination. It was that determination that had been so useful when they'd fought Saren, that had saved Shepard's body, and had led her to defeat the mysterious Shadow Broker. It was one of the many reasons that Nicole loved her.

"I just want things to work out, Liara. I … don't have a good history with personal relationships. In general," Nicole admitted, which was more than she'd ever said to anyone else on the subject. She didn't let it affect her, but she couldn't forget that every time she'd thought she'd found a home, or some friends … Mindoir, Akuze, even the first _Normandy_ … it had always turned to ash. When she'd come back from the dead and found Liara so "reluctant", she'd just assumed the worst had happened again, and had proceeded to finish her damn mission, the way she always did.

But the mission was done now, and yet it wasn't. What the hell did that leave her to do in the meantime?

"They will, Nickie. I promise."

"Considering that your last promise was to turn the Shadow Broker into a corpse, I'll take your word for it," Shepard replied with a laugh, earning her an odd look from Liara. "Oh, like you've never heard a bad joke before."

"All right, Nickie. Let's get to bed."


	4. Chapter 4: Cards Shuffle

_**Embrace Eternity**_

_Chapter Four: Cards Shuffle_

_Note: This is probably drawing near to the end of the pure character-development chapters … plot thingamadoohicks will rear their heads soon. Thanks again for your readership, and all the reviews!_

**xXx**

Liara woke slowly, her eyes fluttering open in the pitch darkness. For two years now, she had slept in a dull, red light, with motion-sensor alarms, so that she would never be caught off guard. For the first time since the _Normandy's_ destruction, she was sleeping in the darkness. With her lover in her arms. They were entwined: two bodies so entangled, so close, that in the darkness it was hard to know where one ended and the other began. The effect was even more profound, so shortly after bonding, as they'd done earlier that night. She could still feel a sort of tingle in her senses, the faintest connection to Nicole's body and mind. She smiled, and let her eyes drift shut again. She wasn't tired, but she just wanted to stay here, in this moment.

_She'll wake up soon,_ Liara thought to herself. Until then, she was quite content to lay there, by her side.

**xXx**

_Six months._

Deadlines were curious things. Thane had worked with them before, but never one so pointed. They forced one to re-evaluate: and as the moment of his death approached, the impulse grew evermore potent.

He had heard of Nicole Shepard many moons before he had seen her. He would've been a very poor assassin if he hadn't. But more than her martial prowess, he heard of her marked kindness. A rarity in a soldier. Rarer still in an assassin. Thane watched how she fought, and he knew the signs. She had been trained as a stealth operative, the sort that caused people to suddenly drop dead. And yet, for all that, for the merciless way she gunned down merc after merc, she had managed to hold on to her soul in a way that Thane feared he had failed to do.

_I have taken many bad things out of this world._

Life was an equation. Moral acts versus amoral ones. The shades of grey were like imaginary numbers: complex, head-ache inducing, often ignored and frequently misinterpreted as something simpler. He had removed many wicked souls, and introduced precious few good things into the world. His son was his proudest achievement, even if he had nearly lost his way. He owed Shepard, of course.

_I owe my son more._

Thane picked up the picture of his son and looked at it. Memories threatened to flash before his eyes, but they did not come. Perhaps it was because of the sickness. Or maybe it was because of his own foreseen death: damage to the lungs would not harm his memory, but his own preoccupation with the future might. He laid the picture down on his desk and closed his eyes.

He had made up his mind. What time he had left, he would give to his son.

**xXx**

_If Shepard doesn't get back on the ship soon, I'm blowing half the crew out of the airlock._

"You should not say those things, Garrus," Tali chided him, causing the turian to look up from his terminal and groan.

"I … said that out loud, didn't I?" He asked wryly, rubbing his forehead plate in agitation. Shepard had outfitted the forward batteries to function as a basic office, which meant that he had a _desk_ to sit at while he rubbed his forehead plate in agitation.

"Yep," Tali replied cheerfully, all but skipping into his poor excuse of an office.

_I wonder if Lawson would be willing to share._

There was a very long pause.

"I said that out loud, too, huh?"

"Yes, you did." Tali sounded amused, at least. That lifted his spirits a little. "Trying to figure out the crew manifest?"

"Trying to figure out how to keep it from going up in smoke," Garrus muttered, flicking the screen toward the quarian. "Jack, Thane, Mordin, Kasumi, and Zaeed have all requested chances to transfer off-ship, and all in a half-dozen places. Jack nearly came to blows over it." Tali blinked—or at least she twitched her head slightly in the way he'd come to recognize equated a blink—and said,

"Most of them I get, but Mordin and Kasumi?"

"Mordin's old, for a salarian. And Kasumi's a thief, can't expect her to hang around forever," Garrus shrugged. He'd honestly expected it; he just couldn't help but wonder why everyone chose to come to _him_ about these things. As far as he knew, only Zaeed had been upfront with Shepard about his desire to leave the ship, and that had been a surprise to no one. Zaeed was a merc.

"I'll miss Kasumi," Tali said simply, sitting herself down on a crate next to Garrus. Her form was slightly slumped, and the energy had gone out of her voice. "I thought she might stay, ever since Shepard helped her with that heist…."

"I know, Tali. But sometimes people grow apart," Garrus said, wincing at his own words. _Yeah, that's what she needed to hear._ "You can keep in touch with her, though. I use an extranet chat client to keep in touch with my sister, sometimes."

"That's not the same, Garrus." Garrus opened his mouth and shut it, wondering what to say. _Was_ there even a right thing to say?

"Sorry. I guess stuff like this just happens. I mean, after the first _Normandy_, we all sort of drifted. But we're back together now, right? Maybe you'll meet Kasumi again. You can help her steal tech or something!" That sounded better, he thought.

"Was that seriously a quarian joke?" Garrus' eyes went wide.

"Wha—no! No, I was just—she's a thief. And you're both good at tech. And … I'm going to stop talking, now." Garrus wanted to just collapse onto his desk, but he thought better of it, instead staring blankly into the screen of archived messages. He was surprised when he felt a small, delicate hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at Tali.

"I was teasing you, Garrus. Honestly, you're hopeless sometimes," she said, laughing lightly. He suddenly felt very clumsy, with his huge turian limbs and his deadly turian mouth.

"I, uh … yeah," he agreed lamely. Tali laughed again, and the hand moved to the scars on his face.

"You were right, by the way."

"Thought so. What about, again?" He asked, his mandible fluttering against Tali's gloved hand as he spoke. She smiled. She was wearing a mask, but he knew she was smiling.

"I _do_ have a weakness for guys with scars."

Garrus blinked in surprise, but didn't look away from Tali's face.

"Where'd this bold Tali'Zorah vas _Neema_ come from, anyway?"

"It's vas _Normandy_. And it helps when you're even worse than I am," Tali said lightly, though not without seriousness. Garrus slowly raised a talon to her arm, and gently touched it, making sure his talons didn't cut through her suit.

"My mistake. I'm not going to rupture your suit, am I?"

"Don't be stupid, Garrus, if our suits tore open at the slightest scratch we wouldn't have survived longer than a decade."

"Right."

"Quarians actually have pretty resilient physiology, aside from the risk of disease. Our skin is tougher than human or asari, and our bones are much more durable. We're more resistant to cuts and scrapes. Um, not that—dammit, now I'm blushing," Tali muttered, suddenly pulling her hand away from his face. There was a harsh ripping noise, and Garrus' eyes went wide again.

"Dammit! Tali, I'm sorry, I—"

"Don't worry, Garrus, you didn't break the skin." Tali sounded surprisingly nonchalant about the whole thing. She hurriedly produced a wrap of gauze from a pocket on her suit, and wrapped the section that Garrus' talon had made a small, scarcely-noticeable tear in. "See? No problem. Our suits have section seals, so a tear on my wrist won't expose all of my body."

"Like emergency airlocks in case of a ship breach," Garrus replied automatically, his brain defaulting to something he actually knew fairly well. Tali nodded vigorously.

"Exactly! Just like that. Back during my trial, I got a small tear and forgot to check my section seals. Not making that mistake again," Tali muttered venomously, clearly thinking of darker, tissue-heavy times. "Either way, this is nothing. Don't worry about it. Honestly, it's kind of a relief. We spend all our lives in our suits, until eventually you hate the things."

"So … even on the Migrant Fleet?" Garrus asked, noting with some pleasure that Tali had sat down next to him, again. She checked the strip of gauze on her wrist again and nodded.

"Yes, all of the time. Even among other quarians. The most intimate thing we ever do is to link our suit environments," she said absently, while Garrus stared. "Honestly, I've never really trusted anyone enough to link suits, except maybe Shepard, and you." There was a moment of frankly _hilarious_ stillness, where Tali looked at him, mortified. You could tell by the way that she didn't move so much as an _inch_.

"I'm afraid you said that out loud, Tali," Garrus said, grinning. Tali finally moved and punched him on the arm.

"I was just saying that I trust you! And Shepard! Though she's a woman, and not—"

"Ruggedly handsome?" Garrus suggested, flexing his burned mandible and quirking an eye. He expected to be punched again, or to be reminded that the quarian owned a shotgun.

He did not expect her to wrap her arms around him and lay her head against his shoulder.

"Yes. That."

**xXx**

Her skin was tougher.

Somehow, that bothered Liara in a deep, unsettling way, that she couldn't quite alleviate herself of. She'd been slowly, gently tracing a finger along Shepard's skin, and what she'd suspected she was now sure of: Shepard had been continuing to "upgrade" her body. She wondered if she'd done anything to her internal organs. She knew how seriously Shepard took the Reaper threat, but something about this made her feel a great unease, a disquiet that permeated the darkness and filled it with unwelcome, whispering doubts.

_Synthetic weaving_, Liara concluded, tracing a finger along her lover's naked arm. She'd heard of some of the toughest krogan mercs getting similar processes done, but nothing so extreme, or far-reaching. The most she knew about it was that it was _excruciatingly_ painful. _Oh, Nickie…._

The human stirred. Liara pursed her lips, not sure what to say. She felt like she had to say something, that she had to voice her concerns, but she knew how much Nicole had suffered, and how seriously she took Liara's every word. Nicole's eyes opened suddenly, in a snap, but when her eyes settled on Liara and she remembered herself, her eyes calmed and she smiled.

"Hey, beautiful," she said, rubbing a hand along Liara's outer thigh.

"Good morning, Nickie," Liara said happily, planting a quick kiss on Nicole's lips. Even when she was worried, it did make her happy to see Shepard happy, in those small, little ways that she was so rarely afforded.

"I should probably get back to the ship, soon," Nicole admitted, with a sigh. Liara frowned, but nodded.

"Probably. Your crew will be missing you. Without you around, things may destabilize."

"They'll be fine," Shepard said easily. "They've got Garrus."

"Are you sure Garrus can handle those responsibilities?"

"I'm sure of it. Garrus has grown into a real leader, Liara. It's a shame you two don't get to see each other much anymore, I think you'd be impressed by how he's grown," Nicole said, with the tone of a proud teacher speaking of her best student. Liara smiled.

"Yes, but he _is_ at a disadvantage. They have always been your crew, Shepard, and will always think that way," she pointed out, prompting an exceedingly rare and infinitely adorable Nicole Shepard pout. She must've realized it, because she immediately changed it into a scowl.

"Okay, you've got a point. I'll go back to the ship today. But not yet," she said, nuzzling her head into Liara's shoulder. Her hair was rough and unkempt, as opposed to her normally strictly maintained neck-length haircut that she tucked behind her ears.

"Nicole, you have been moving forward with the Cerberus body modifications, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah. It just seemed like it made sense," Shepard replied, sounding surprised by the comment. She moved a bit away from Liara, and frowned. "Why?"

"It just … it concerns me, Shepard. You were brought back by Cerberus, and they didn't make any gross modifications, not as I was concerned they might. Now you are … giving them a second chance to do so."

"Mordin and Dr. Chakwas are the _only_ ones who've handled those procedures, Liara, I promise. And they make me tougher, stronger. I need to be able to survive and carry on my mission, you know that. So that I can come back to you," she insisted, looking plainly into Liara's eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not about to let them go latticing my brain or something."

"I did not think so," Liara said, though she did not feel assuaged. "Just … promise me you will not do anything too extreme."

"All right. I'll cancel the surgery to have the Widow grafted onto my arm."

"You are joking, right?" Liara asked. She honestly wasn't sure. Shepard rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Liara. I'm joking. Grunt suggested it, but I never took him seriously."

"Okay, _that _was definitely a joke."

Shepard grinned. "Actually, no. You sort of have to know Grunt, though, I think he was reading about elcor warriors and thought we should all get shoulder-mounted guns."

"Sometimes I wonder about your crew, Shepard."

"Sometimes I do, too. But in the end, it usually works out. Even the crazy-ass asari scientist I blasted out of a merc-infested digsite," Shepard joked, pouncing on Liara and throwing the blankets askew. "I'll get back to the ship, but not yet." She grinned devilishly, and bent down to kiss at Liara's throat. "We've got a little more time to ourselves."


	5. Chapter 5: Cold History

_**Embrace Eternity**_

_Chapter Five: Cold History_

_Note: Wow. It has been ages since I updated this (nearly a whole year!)._

_I feel bad that I've neglected this story. I always enjoyed it, and its positive reception made me feel the soft, warm glow of narcissism that we all so cherish. Every now and again, I reread the old chapters … and I honestly like what I've written. So with Mass Effect 3 impending, I thought I'd give it another whirl!_

_Warning: this chapter contains depictions of nudity, though it's not, I would hope, crass, nor is it particularly explicit. Certainly no more than the literary equivalent of seeing the back of a naked character in a PG-13 movie. There's also a few f-bombs! I'm still pretty confident this falls into PG-13 territory._

_Finally, thanks again for all the reviews, they're an extraordinary motivation. This is far and away my most successful fanfiction story yet. I'm glad so many people are enjoying it (enjoyment being the general timbre of the reviews, though I acknowledge I've taken a few liberties)._

**xXx**

Shepard sat at the edge of Liara's bed, naked, the faded grey blankets pooled around her waist and falling to the floor. Liara had left to take care of some business, leaving her alone. That Nicole had pulled her from her work for even a night was nearly astonishing. She had absently pulled the blankets up over her chest, as though expecting someone to burst in to the Shadow Broker's private quarters; as though she had something to hide. She was looking down curiously, staring at the light fabric she'd clutched to her breasts, staring at the hand that was clutching them.

The hand that she hadn't been born with.

It was completely reconstructed. Regrown tissue taken from her own DNA, largely, with reinforced synthetics. Everything was organic in structure—if it wasn't, her body would've rejected it—but it was all interlaced with synthetic weaves. The biggest changes had been utilitarian: her sheer muscle strength was now absurd, particularly given her deceptively slender build. Her skin was tougher, too, and she hadn't been ill since she'd come back from the dead. The thought seemed somehow ironic to her, and she grinned, but only briefly.

_If I was building a super-soldier, I guess I'd want someone who could crush stones in her palm, too_, Shepard thought idly, though it wasn't pleasing. The thought soured in her mind, and she shook her head in disgust, as though to rid it of the irksome dweller there. No good came of thoughts like that. Nothing productive, anyway.

Nicole Shepard stood up, sighed, and got dressed.

**xXx**

"I'll be back soon," she promised, pressing her lips to the asari's one more time. She swore it would not be the last, nor would it even make a close cousin of that last kiss, which she was determined to put off until the end of time. Liara smiled at her in the gloomy light of the ship's docking port. The _Normandy_, her crew, and her war, were on the other side.

"I know, Nicole. Just promise me you won't have any guns attached."

Nicole laughed. "I promise, Li. Now I really do have to go," she said, though she didn't enjoy saying it. Liara lifted Nicole's chin with a finger, and smiled. Nicole couldn't help but smile, too, and she nodded her head and closed her eyes in a final farewell. Then, she turned around, walked through the airlock, and boarded her ship.

Liara stayed behind, as love was wont to do.

**xXx**

Nicole Shepard waited while the airlock re-sealed itself, as EDI's voice informed the crew that the Commanding Officer was finally on deck. No doubt she'd have a half-dozen headaches waiting for her, but she'd known it, expected it, and was entirely ready to deal with it. In truth, she was almost a little curious as to what minor disasters had been brewing in her wake. Romance was hard. Skulls were, gracefully, softer.

_Or maybe everything's fine, _she thought hopefully. The door of the airlock hissed open, and instead of the _Normandy's_ cockpit, Nicole was greeted with the image of a seven-foot tall turian who looked like he'd tried to defuse a bomb by biting it. The nasty scars gave the pained grimace on his face a somewhat fearsome quality.

"Miss me that much, Garrus?"

"You have _no idea_," the turian groaned, shaking his head and standing aside to let her onto the ship. "You got all the messages I sent?"

"Yeah, I checked them this morning. At least you managed to keep the damn ship from falling apart while I was gone," Shepard said, rolling her eyes and sighing dramatically.

"Well, maybe if you hadn't left it in such a pitiable condition, I wouldn't have had so many problems," Garrus replied, his mandibles twitching slightly. He started walking towards the briefing room, and indicated that Shepard should follow. Nicole grinned, but didn't say anything: Garrus was the only member of her crew who would give her an order, even if such a minor one. If it had been anyone else, she'd have reprimanded them, but for all his talk of being a bad turian Garrus still had deeply instilled values of honour and respect. She didn't need to worry about disobedience from him. "So, how'd it go?"

"Well," Shepard said tersely. Garrus wisely waited for her to say anything else. "It went well. Better than I expected. Now give me the bad news first."

"Jack."

"Thought you'd say that," Shepard muttered, suddenly wishing she was wearing her armour. "Where is she?"

"Right now? I left her in the cargo hold with Grunt and told him to keep his gun on her. Grunt wasn't happy about it." The casual way that Garrus spoke told Shepard leaps and bounds. This was very bad. The turian looked at her, those intelligent eyes of his gleaming with that dark glint that spoke of a terrible thirst for justice. It passed in a second, but Shepard knew better than anyone what that look meant.

"She tried to kill Miranda."

Shepard was floored. An unconquerable, burning rage swelled in her chest, furious at the betrayal. She had given Jack every chance at forgiveness and that little screwed up criminal had _dared_ to violate the sanctity of _her_ ship, _Shepard's_ ship. She wanted to punch something, wanted to rip something apart, but she kept her composure. If Garrus had noticed the rage boiling in Shepard's stomach, he didn't mention it. She didn't know if she'd have developed such an elegant solution as Garrus had. She'd known Jack was unstable—hell, she'd known Jack was a _monster_—but she would never have expected the biotic would've turned on a member of Shepard's own crew. That was across the line.

"Show me."

**xXx**

Even as she worked, poring over endless lists of files, there was still a smile on her face. They hadn't bonded like that in quite some time; she could almost feel Nicole's presence in the back of her mind, Shepard's astonishing vitality and strength throbbing against her own natural reserved instincts. They had both changed since those long years ago when they'd first met. Liara was far less naïve, whereas Shepard ... she had always been dedicated, willing to do whatever it took to survive. But now she seemed to value life more than survival, and she was even more absolute in her will to defend it. When they'd bonded, it had been more intense than ever before. It was definitely attractive, and yet….

She was worried for her Shepard. She tried to remind herself not to think that way, in terms of ownership, but she'd given so much for that strange, sad, amazing human. It was hard not to think of her as … well, hers. Liara's. Forever. But that was stupid. Shepard gave to Liara as much as she could, but she would never stop giving to everyone else. To the entire universe. Liara supposed it was part of the reason that she loved Nicole, but it was hard to watch her go.

_But then, you didn't have to stay here, did you?_ Her fingers, whirring across the holographic keyboards even as she thought, stopped moving. She looked at them, ignoring the myriad data splayed out before her. Why hadn't she been able to leave? She'd been an information broker for so long, now … she'd become _good_ at it. Not only that, she'd earned a reputation. A deadly one. People often looked at her as they looked at Shepard. With respect. Maybe even fear. She wondered how much of that was the ghost of Shepard in her subconscious. Or maybe the ghost of her mother.

She flinched. She tried not to think about her mother too much. It was all too confusing, too hurtful, even two years later. She grew aware of a low, faint hum approaching.

"_You wanted observance on the Normandy, Shadow Broker?"_

"Yes." Shepard wouldn't like it, but Liara couldn't _not_ know.

"_I have detected elevated stress levels aboard the Normandy."_

"How significant?"

"_Elevated adrenaline, hormones, physiological responses high, particularly among crewmembers Nicole Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, Jack Lastnameunknown, Grunt Lastnameunknown. Indications of physical violence are strong, Shadow Broker."_

Liara calmly punched a few commands into her terminal, and a display popped up in front of her. The _Normandy_ was still docked. With a few more easy commands, she hacked into their sound system, speaking directly into the cockpit.

"Joker, do not undock. I wish to come aboard," Liara said, with the absolute finality of somebody whose orders were not disobeyed.

**xXx**

"Shepard—"

"Save it, Garrus." The elevator whizzed to a stop, and she pushed past the turian, stomping towards the cargo hold. She wasn't armed, but didn't care. She flexed the fingers in her artificial hand, feeling the unreal brute strength. She could punch out a krogan, and she felt like it. She practically ran through the sliding door into the cargo hold, which obediently [i]hissed[/i] open as the ship's Captain approached. Grunt was standing there with his Claymore at his side, sitting next to Jack. Jack seemed calm; she and Grunt had always got along. Neither woman said anything for a moment, before Shepard spoke. Her voice was absolutely calm.

"What happened, Jack?" Shepard's face was utterly impassive. Her synthetic hand was still curled into a fist. If her skin had been thin enough to break, her palms would've bled. Jack didn't really answer, just grunted. Garrus provided the rest, from behind Shepard's shoulder.

"From what I can tell, Miranda wouldn't admit Cerberus was responsible for Jack's … childhood. After that…." Garrus didn't bother filling the rest in. Shepard knew her crew.

"It wasn't like that, it was that stupid bitch, she—"

"What the hell, Jack," Shepard said flatly, resisting the urge to slam her fist into something solid. "I trusted you. I put my neck out for you and _this_ is what you repay me with? I can't leave my ship for one goddamn day before you start killing my crew? Dammit, Jack!"

"Hey, it's not like the cheerleader didn't start shit either!" Jack yelled, like a petulant child. She made to get to her feet but Shepard shoved her back down, hard.

"You move when I tell you to move," Shepard said, her voice low and deadly. "Right now, I don't know if I can trust you. And if I can't trust you, what the hell are you doing on my ship?" For a split second, Jack's façade broke, and behind the anger Shepard could see the sad, messed up little girl; but then the anger snapped back into place, more rigid than before.

"That's my fuckin' question." Shepard sighed, and stepped back, realizing just how close she'd been to Jack. She let her fist relax, and the rest of her went with it. She couldn't be angry for this.

"All right, Jack, here's what we're going to do. We're heading to the relay and we're jumping to the Citadel. When we get there we're dropping Kasumi and Zaeed off. Then I'm going to turn you over to C-Sec."

"Like shit you are!" Jack sprang to her feet and thrust her face in Shepard's. Shepard saw that there were tears in her eyes, but ignored them. Grunt's Claymore was levelled at Jack's head. "Fuck off, krogan," Jack spat, not taking her eyes off of the Commander. "You fire that thing at this range and you're gonna have to pick my brains apart from Shepard's."

"She's right. Stand down, Grunt," Shepard said, staring hard at Jack's face. Jack didn't realize how dangerous Shepard was at this range. She'd been trained as an assassin. Trained to kill. Grunt obeyed and stepped back. "Jack, what choice do I have? I can't let you out there when I know you're only going to hurt people," Shepard said. She almost—_almost—_sounded like she was pleading. She didn't want to have to hurt Jack, not when they'd come so far. But Shepard always did what had to be done. Jack was no exception.

"Fuck. You," Jack snarled. Her fists were curled, and a blue biotic glow was hovering around her. The same part of Shepard that had kept her alive through countless horrors in her life came alive again, screaming a warning at its host.

An explosion of blue light knocked Shepard back into the wall, while Grunt was slammed against his pod, his gun falling to the floor. Garrus moved to get in Jack's way, but he wasn't ready for a biotic punch to the face; his body went flying out into the corridor, landing on the ground with a sickening _thud_. Grunt went for his gun, but Jack had bolted out into the hallway, running past Shepard.

"EDI, warn the crew that Jack's on the loose!" Shepard barked out, rolling to Grunt's gun, grabbing it, and getting to her feet in a single, fluid motion. Without a word, she looked at the krogan and nodded. Her eyes were cold steel. She activated the complex system of electronics and reflectors that Miranda had embedded in Shepard, somewhere in her spine. Electricity crackled on her skin, and in a flash, she was invisible. She moved out into the corridor, following Jack's trail of carnage.

Romance was hard. Skulls, gracefully, were softer.


End file.
